Home of the 15 Million Dollar Kitteh

GREETINGS IN THE NAME OF THE LORD

I AM MRS MARYAM FORSYTHE . A WIDOW TO LATE JOHN FORSYTHE. I AM 56 YEARSOLD, I AM NOW A NEW CHRISTAINCONVERT, SUFFERING FROM LONG TIME CANCER OF THE BREAST, FROM ALL INDICATION MY CONDITIONS IS REALLY DETERIORATING AND IT IS QUITE OBVIOUS THAT I WONT LIVE MORE THAN SIX MONTHS, ACCORDING TO MY DOCTORS, THIS IS BECAUSE THE CANER STAGE HAS GOTTEN TO A VERY BAD STAGE.

MY LATE HUSBAND KILLED DURING THE U.S. RAID AGAINST TERRORISM AFGHANISTAN,AND DURING THE PERIOD OF OUR MARRIAGE WE COULDNT PRODUCE ANY CHILD. MY LATE HUSBAND WAS VERY WEALTHY AND AFTER HIS DEATH, I INHERITED ALL HIS BUSINESS AND WEALTH.

THE DOCTORS HAS DVISED ME THAT I MAY NOT LIVEFOR MORE THAN SIX MONTHS, SO I NOW DECIDED TO DEVIDE THE PART OF THIS WEALTH, TO CONTRIBUTE TO THE DEVELOPMENT OF THE CHURCH IN AFRICA, AMERICA ASIA,AND EUROPE.

I PRAYED OVER IT. I AM WILLING TO DONATE THE SUM OF $5,000.000.00 MD U.S DOLLARS, TO THE LESS PRIVILEGED.

PLEASE I WANT YOU TO NOTE THAT FUND ISLYING IN A BANK IN SWISS AND UPON MY INSTRUCTION, MY ATTORNEY, WHO PRESENTLY IS IN AFRICADISTRIBUTING RELIEF MATERIALS , WILL FILE IN AN APPLICATION FOR THE TRANSFER OF THE MONEY IN YOUR NAME.

LASTLY, I HONESTLY PRAY THAT THIS MONEY WHEN TRANSFERRED! WILL BE SURE FOR THE SAID PURPOSE, BECAUSE I HAVE COME TO FIND OUT THAT WEALTH ACQUISITION WITHOUT CHRIST IS VANITY.

MAY THE GRACE OF OUR LORD JESUS THE LOVE OF GOD AND THE FELLOWSHIP OF GOD BE WITH YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.

I AWAIT URGENT REPLY.

MRS ROSE MARY COLLINS

NOTE PLEASE REPLY VIA maryam22i@yahoo.com

jlsundberg: Mischka Mooska Mouskatools! (As in, "you are a...")

Dawn: ok, if i ever got a dog
this would be it
http://www.google.com/search?q=goldendoodle&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a
i mean c'mon
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Butters!_0181.jpg

jlsundberg: so cute!
yeah last night i went to sleep at 8

Dawn: ahh
wow

jlsundberg: i was SO sick to my stomache

Dawn: whyso mofo

jlsundberg: stomachee
i suspect i had a mild version of what my Dad had
it reminded me of last Christmas Eve where I felt like if I moved I would hurl

Dawn: eww
not good

jlsundberg: i never hurled because I have an iron will
but my stomach felt SO weird

Dawn: we're not pukers the two of us

jlsundberg: no and i wish i was

Dawn: i do too sometimes

jlsundberg: because i probably would have felt better afterwards

Dawn: but i also wish for an island

jlsundberg: and i could be a bulimic
oops did i say that out loud?

Dawn: hahaha
not
i cant decide if i should bid on this

jlsundberg: an island to throw up on?

Dawn: http://cgi.ebay.com/WB-Tasmanian-Devil-Polaroid-Instant-Camera-C-99_W0QQitemZ190283326644QQcmdZViewItemQQptZCollectibles_Animation_Characters?hash=item190283326644&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14&_trkparms=66%3A2|65%3A1|39%3A1|240%3A1318
yes
my own pukefestival
island
thingie

jlsundberg: that is SO cute

Dawn: yeah

jlsundberg: how many are out there?

Dawn: i could prolly sell it for 60
a few

jlsundberg: it might be something you could hold on to for a while too
then buy it

Dawn: ya think?

jlsundberg: i dont knpow

Dawn: if i can snipe it i will
and then I'll "hold" it in my pants

jlsundberg: you;'re the photo experte
this morning Mikey told me he missed you AND Haley

Dawn: i know i'll at least make my money back
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWw

jlsundberg: Haley is moving in on your territory
then BUY it

Dawn: damn i won it

jlsundberg: then you can say you have sold every polaroid made
HA

Dawn: i am good at sniping
i dont know how considering bunny is sitting between my arms and the keyboard
i had to look over her fuzzy head to type in the bid

jlsundberg: haha

Dawn: she has really bad breath lately

jlsundberg: do you know that NO one has bought those fleur de lis shield earrings

Dawn: i think its time for her to see el doctoro
WHAT

jlsundberg: oh that probably means tooth decay
somebody should tell your mom that
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA

Dawn:  HAHAHAHHAHHHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dawn: ARE THEY INSANE

jlsundberg: thats why minnies breath is so bad

Dawn: i know
and jan's

jlsundberg: HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!
Dawn: HHAHAHHAHAHAHHA!!HAHAH!!!

jlsundberg: and she had her teeth pulled

Dawn: did I ever tell you that when rich saw jan in the hospital last year he asked me if she did meth?
he was actually worried.  so so so sad.
i keep haviong to lean to the side to type around the cats
sorry for mispellings
bunny has a big head
minnie did have her teeth pulled foma;;hy?

jlsundberg: oh and ps
you may be
HUH?

Dawn: finally
sorry cat on keyboard

jlsundberg: haha all of the front ones, a while ago

Dawn: huh.
yeah, bunny's going in

jlsundberg: you may be Mikey's BFF
but

Dawn: its time for her checkup

jlsundberg: I am his "bestest friend ever"

Dawn: AWWWWWWWWWWWw

jlsundberg: although it appears as if I share that title
with Sweetie and Butkus

Dawn: hahahha
so cute
i miss the boy

jlsundberg: i know
me too
oh wait

Dawn: we are coming over tonight come hell or high water

jlsundberg: he will be thrilled

Dawn: i dont care if my legs fall off

jlsundberg: he was asking about you last night before we left daycare

Dawn: you should pick me up - is he at school today

jlsundberg: he wanted to show you his picture
yes he is
oh he would be so thrilled

Dawn: you wanna pick me up?
ok cool

jlsundberg: shore
if i have to
HAHAHAHAHAHA

Dawn: HAHAHAHAHHAHA
i know im such a ddrag

Dawn: HAR

Dawn: I AM CRABBY

jlsundberg: fucking fucking
me too

Dawn: i promise i will be uncrabby by...
later

jlsundberg: i heard the most UNPLEASANT thing
at Walgreens this morning

Dawn: or we can just murder somebody for fun
what

jlsundberg: i pulled up to the drive thru for my scripts
and this 65-ish lady was yelling at the microphone
"My address is blah blah, just give me the fucking prescription already!!!"

Dawn: omg
no way
no fucking way
those poor walgreens ppl

jlsundberg: The girl sent the prescription, but it takes a minute because

Dawn: although they prolly had a good laugh about it

jlsundberg: she was at the second lane
and meanwhile she asked me for my name

Dawn: 65-sih white track?
omg i mean 65-ish white trash

jlsundberg: and the bitch says "Oh sure, take care of somebody else, WHAT AM I CHOPPED LIVER?!?!"

Dawn: OMG NO FUCKING WAY

jlsundberg: yes
And the girl apologizes to me

Dawn: HILARIOUS

jlsundberg: and the WTL says
"You're not sorry BITCH"

Dawn: EWHATY
HOLY SHIT

jlsundberg: "We'll see how much you laugh when you don't have a job tomorrow FATTY!!"
I SWEAR TO GOD

Dawn: oh no
oh no she didnt

jlsundberg: the poor lady inside
she did

Dawn: WERE THEY CRAZY PILLS????????

jlsundberg: I said, you should make her go somewhere else for her drugs
you shouldnt have to listen to that

Dawn: seriously

jlsundberg: and she said, oh something goes wrong every time she is here

Dawn: no way

jlsundberg: w/E

Dawn: that poor girl
something doesnt go wrong

jlsundberg: I would have told her to speak to my manager

Dawn: she's just an ASSHOLE

jlsundberg: and i am sure the manager would have told her to go somewhere else

Dawn: i would have dropped the pills all over the floor, accidentally

jlsundberg: so then
HAHAHAH

Dawn: or wiped my ass on them
or crapped on them

jlsundberg: i got all the way home

Dawn: or peed in the bag

jlsundberg: and realized that the bitch fatty forgot two scripts!!!!!

Dawn: or farted into the microphone

jlsundberg: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH

Dawn: HAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
you ASSHOLE

jlsundberg: i just laughed out loud

Dawn: i totally would have, too

jlsundberg: would have what?

Dawn: can you imagine how cool that would be
farted
i'd be all like yeah, well listen to this!
::GIANT FART SOUND::
sorry i cant stop now
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!
whew

jlsundberg: oh yeah, Ms. LIVER

Dawn: i'd make a good liver
a fatty liver

jlsundberg: fatty lovber?
levebear
oh for christs sake

Dawn: um
shore
i need to get me a microphone

jlsundberg: i cant believe how crazy that woman was
she was SCREAMING this stuff

Dawn: she had to be on crazy pills
people are so horrible

jlsundberg: I AM, in fact, chopped liver.
jlsundberg: or maybe, like you said

Dawn: i wish everybody thought we were as funny as we think we are

jlsundberg: she was waiting for her crazy pills

Dawn: totally

jlsundberg: seriously

Dawn: i'll bet it was some kind of
um
whats that called
BI-POLAR thats it
bi-polar pills

Dawn: HILARIOUS

jlsundberg: and no,
bipolar is a place not a pill

Dawn: oh
i dont get it

jlsundberg: I think it is near the South Polar
or is it the North Polar?

Dawn: do you know how many good deals i get on polaroids because ppl are retarded and CANT SPEEL?
poloroid

jlsundberg: remember Joe used to say his ex went bi-polar

Dawn: poarliod
polariod
no i dont remember that
wait oh yes i do

jlsundberg: bi-polaroid

Dawn: polarnoid!!!

jlsundberg: HAHAHAH

Dawn: i bought a polarnoid last week!

jlsundberg: bi-polarnoid!

Dawn: got to be an idiot
i like trying to guess which auctions are done by total idiots
its fun

jlsundberg: Gots me a polarnoid?

Dawn: i love idiots

jlsundberg: I love when their user ids start with Ms.

Dawn: I got two turntables and a fart-grophone
oh yeah
or as diva in it
has
or thing

jlsundberg: Fart-grophone I just LOL'd again

Dawn: HAHAHAH

jlsundberg: Ms.DivaThing
thats my new name

Dawn: NICE

jlsundberg: You can call me MZ DIVA THANG!
Dawn: I am so amused right now

jlsundberg: i am a hot idiot

jlsundberg: My friends call me DICK, you can call me MZ DIVA THANG!
Dawn: DICK

jlsundberg: yes?

Dawn: zzzzzzzzz
i like da zzzzzzz's

jlsundberg: did my joke put you to sleap?

Dawn: ayuh

jlsundberg: steap

Dawn: snorggle

jlsundberg: ew
you just drooled

Dawn: i cant belive you made me buy that camera
oh oh its the other cat

jlsundberg: i cant believe you drooled
ok we really should work
we have waasted

Dawn: black and white fuzzball alert
ok

jlsundberg: 30 minutes

Dawn: WOW

jlsundberg: or more

Dawn: thats amwerazing
it's almost like when we used to have jobs!
JAJAJAJAJJAJAAAA@@@@!!!

jlsundberg: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!
because we are so funny

Dawn: sorry cat

jlsundberg: are you in a better mood?

Dawn: jack says hi

jlsundberg: or should we still kill somebody later?

Dawn: yes thank you
no, better

jlsundberg: HI JACK
HIJACK?

Dawn: he just threw himself on th e keyboaurd

jlsundberg: What the....?
Did he

Dawn: he's so cute

jlsundberg: HIJACK it??
HAHAHAJAJSJASHADSFKsjdgfkladhgfjkdsgnxc,mvnxzchewo;'rfjsdkljfsdaf
<splat>

Dawn: he's in my elbowpit
ok

jlsundberg: did he

Dawn: wokr

jlsundberg: HIJACK IT?????
ASJKDFKadjfglksdjglekftujhproqieutopeitujsrdlkgjdfl

Dawn: OMG
AWE)RIUAW#M))))))))))fij
i can hear you

jlsundberg: everything he douise

Dawn: making that laughing thing

jlsundberg: is going to be a hijacking from now on

Dawn: even when he sticks his as son my chest?

jlsundberg: LOLOLOLOLOLOOOLEAPRFKADSOFKdsjsadlsadfg;sdfjsad;fla

Dawn: ass on

jlsundberg: did he
HIJACK IT?????????
JASJFAOJFAD:Kfjsdklgashityqwrpo8tub3986nu3oitaj so;igh-w49758[p gn lkavjxb[9dfi6m q2g;lj4gvHQI;uprUA ET
=

Dawn: ass on
ass off
ass on
ass off

Dawn: OMG

jlsundberg: I THINK THERE MIGHT ACTUALLY BE SOME WORDS IN THERE

Dawn: NOOOOOOO!

jlsundberg: WHY AM I YELLING?
MARILYN SAYS

Dawn: cat!

jlsundberg: F
U
C
K

Dawn: cat
cat

jlsundberg: EFF
YOU
SEE
KAY
i am listening to marilyn through my tv

Dawn: aah

jlsundberg: probly not a good idea

Dawn: intresting

jlsundberg: i may blow my tv speakers

Dawn: as long as you don't "blow" them  (joey quotes)
i should play some music

jlsundberg: i need to hook up some spear
EFF
YOU

Dawn: you need an ipod
I need an ibra

jlsundberg: SEE KAY

Dawn: dont you have some speakers

jlsundberg: spear?
Speareks?
YES
I DO

Dawn: DO IT
tail

jlsundberg: I AM ELECTRONICALLY CHALLENGED HOWEVER

Dawn: on keyboard

jlsundberg: or is it just laszy

Dawn: me too
me too

jlsundberg: ok
GOT TO GHAEKRNAMENRFAsdjdsuisadhgkjsbfm,xcnviuweytr[poiqehrkasd
i mean work

Dawn: HOLLAH
K

Calling jlsundberg@gmail.com at 10:32 AM on Thursday
jlsundberg: and then i am

Dawn: JJJJJJJa3wiu9rm3-f,09iezskm:Ldvkn-w]e00fiuasjodf

jlsundberg: AHDFIAdfhsdoifhsdlfkshd;fjsdhfpusdyfosivhlskdfa

Call with jlsundberg@gmail.com not answered at 10:32 AM on Thursday
Incoming call from jlsundberg@gmail.com at 10:32 AM on Thursday
Dawn: whoops
sorry jack just tried to call you

Call from jlsundberg@gmail.com missed at 10:32 AM on Thursday
jlsundberg: tell him to stop

Dawn: what is GOING ON

jlsundberg: HIJACKING THE POHOINE

Dawn: HES CARZY

jlsundberg: HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHDF;oadfupiowertulfksdjgnsdlkfhawep;oi bvhspoitvhwanpoiy4q5uv7g5noqairjg;lkdjt-9qg87n5vepao

jfviuq345ygp[0*anU ZKLJREHVTRVF;12 CWS

Dawn: he's sprawling

jlsundberg: OK
B

Dawn: on my keyspace
OK B

jlsundberg: BBBBB

Dawn: b
a
l
l
s

jlsundberg: EFF
YOU
SEE
KAY
YOU

Dawn: i need to pay for my stupid expensive camera

jlsundberg: HAFLKDHFLKWDHFJKDSAHFAKJSDHFSDKUFHASDKFHSDALKJHSDKJFHSDKJFHSDKFSD

Dawn: JERK

jlsundberg: HA
HA

Dawn: tail

jlsundberg: DICK

Dawn: hey remember when we used to IM each other and purposely not correct our fat finger-ness? 
...
...
Yeah.

Sent at 10:34 AM on Thursday