February 19, 2009GREETINGS IN THE NAME OF THE LORD from rosemarycollina
GREETINGS IN THE NAME OF THE LORD
I AM MRS MARYAM FORSYTHE . A WIDOW TO LATE JOHN FORSYTHE. I AM 56 YEARSOLD, I AM NOW A NEW CHRISTAINCONVERT, SUFFERING FROM LONG TIME CANCER OF THE BREAST, FROM ALL INDICATION MY CONDITIONS IS REALLY DETERIORATING AND IT IS QUITE OBVIOUS THAT I WONT LIVE MORE THAN SIX MONTHS, ACCORDING TO MY DOCTORS, THIS IS BECAUSE THE CANER STAGE HAS GOTTEN TO A VERY BAD STAGE. MY LATE HUSBAND KILLED DURING THE U.S. RAID AGAINST TERRORISM AFGHANISTAN,AND DURING THE PERIOD OF OUR MARRIAGE WE COULDNT PRODUCE ANY CHILD. MY LATE HUSBAND WAS VERY WEALTHY AND AFTER HIS DEATH, I INHERITED ALL HIS BUSINESS AND WEALTH. THE DOCTORS HAS DVISED ME THAT I MAY NOT LIVEFOR MORE THAN SIX MONTHS, SO I NOW DECIDED TO DEVIDE THE PART OF THIS WEALTH, TO CONTRIBUTE TO THE DEVELOPMENT OF THE CHURCH IN AFRICA, AMERICA ASIA,AND EUROPE. I PRAYED OVER IT. I AM WILLING TO DONATE THE SUM OF $5,000.000.00 MD U.S DOLLARS, TO THE LESS PRIVILEGED. PLEASE I WANT YOU TO NOTE THAT FUND ISLYING IN A BANK IN SWISS AND UPON MY INSTRUCTION, MY ATTORNEY, WHO PRESENTLY IS IN AFRICADISTRIBUTING RELIEF MATERIALS , WILL FILE IN AN APPLICATION FOR THE TRANSFER OF THE MONEY IN YOUR NAME. LASTLY, I HONESTLY PRAY THAT THIS MONEY WHEN TRANSFERRED! WILL BE SURE FOR THE SAID PURPOSE, BECAUSE I HAVE COME TO FIND OUT THAT WEALTH ACQUISITION WITHOUT CHRIST IS VANITY. MAY THE GRACE OF OUR LORD JESUS THE LOVE OF GOD AND THE FELLOWSHIP OF GOD BE WITH YOU AND YOUR FAMILY. I AWAIT URGENT REPLY. MRS ROSE MARY COLLINS NOTE PLEASE REPLY VIA maryam22i@yahoo.com
Posted on 02/19/2009 3:00 AM Comments (4)
February 5, 2009I got two turntables and a fart-grophone. Jenny and I think we're funny IM-ers.
jlsundberg: Mischka Mooska Mouskatools! (As in, "you are a...")
Dawn: ok, if i ever got a dog this would be it http://www.google.com/search?q=goldendoodle&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a i mean c'mon http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Butters!_0181.jpg jlsundberg: so cute! yeah last night i went to sleep at 8 Dawn: ahh wow jlsundberg: i was SO sick to my stomache Dawn: whyso mofo jlsundberg: stomachee i suspect i had a mild version of what my Dad had it reminded me of last Christmas Eve where I felt like if I moved I would hurl Dawn: eww not good jlsundberg: i never hurled because I have an iron will but my stomach felt SO weird Dawn: we're not pukers the two of us jlsundberg: no and i wish i was Dawn: i do too sometimes jlsundberg: because i probably would have felt better afterwards Dawn: but i also wish for an island jlsundberg: and i could be a bulimic oops did i say that out loud? Dawn: hahaha not i cant decide if i should bid on this jlsundberg: an island to throw up on? Dawn: http://cgi.ebay.com/WB-Tasmanian-Devil-Polaroid-Instant-Camera-C-99_W0QQitemZ190283326644QQcmdZViewItemQQptZCollectibles_Animation_Characters?hash=item190283326644&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14&_trkparms=66%3A2|65%3A1|39%3A1|240%3A1318 yes my own pukefestival island thingie jlsundberg: that is SO cute Dawn: yeah jlsundberg: how many are out there? Dawn: i could prolly sell it for 60 a few jlsundberg: it might be something you could hold on to for a while too then buy it Dawn: ya think? jlsundberg: i dont knpow Dawn: if i can snipe it i will and then I'll "hold" it in my pants jlsundberg: you;'re the photo experte this morning Mikey told me he missed you AND Haley Dawn: i know i'll at least make my money back AWWWWWWWWWWWWWw jlsundberg: Haley is moving in on your territory then BUY it Dawn: damn i won it jlsundberg: then you can say you have sold every polaroid made HA Dawn: i am good at sniping i dont know how considering bunny is sitting between my arms and the keyboard i had to look over her fuzzy head to type in the bid jlsundberg: haha Dawn: she has really bad breath lately jlsundberg: do you know that NO one has bought those fleur de lis shield earrings Dawn: i think its time for her to see el doctoro WHAT jlsundberg: oh that probably means tooth decay somebody should tell your mom that HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA Dawn: HAHAHAHHAHHHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dawn: ARE THEY INSANE jlsundberg: thats why minnies breath is so bad Dawn: i know and jan's jlsundberg: HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!! Dawn: HHAHAHHAHAHAHHA!!HAHAH!!! jlsundberg: and she had her teeth pulled Dawn: did I ever tell you that when rich saw jan in the hospital last year he asked me if she did meth? he was actually worried. so so so sad. i keep haviong to lean to the side to type around the cats sorry for mispellings bunny has a big head minnie did have her teeth pulled foma;;hy? jlsundberg: oh and ps you may be HUH? Dawn: finally sorry cat on keyboard jlsundberg: haha all of the front ones, a while ago Dawn: huh. yeah, bunny's going in jlsundberg: you may be Mikey's BFF but Dawn: its time for her checkup jlsundberg: I am his "bestest friend ever" Dawn: AWWWWWWWWWWWw jlsundberg: although it appears as if I share that title with Sweetie and Butkus Dawn: hahahha so cute i miss the boy jlsundberg: i know me too oh wait Dawn: we are coming over tonight come hell or high water jlsundberg: he will be thrilled Dawn: i dont care if my legs fall off jlsundberg: he was asking about you last night before we left daycare Dawn: you should pick me up - is he at school today jlsundberg: he wanted to show you his picture yes he is oh he would be so thrilled Dawn: you wanna pick me up? ok cool jlsundberg: shore if i have to HAHAHAHAHAHA Dawn: HAHAHAHAHHAHA i know im such a ddrag Dawn: HAR Dawn: I AM CRABBY jlsundberg: fucking fucking me too Dawn: i promise i will be uncrabby by... later jlsundberg: i heard the most UNPLEASANT thing at Walgreens this morning Dawn: or we can just murder somebody for fun what jlsundberg: i pulled up to the drive thru for my scripts and this 65-ish lady was yelling at the microphone "My address is blah blah, just give me the fucking prescription already!!!" Dawn: omg no way no fucking way those poor walgreens ppl jlsundberg: The girl sent the prescription, but it takes a minute because Dawn: although they prolly had a good laugh about it jlsundberg: she was at the second lane and meanwhile she asked me for my name Dawn: 65-sih white track? omg i mean 65-ish white trash jlsundberg: and the bitch says "Oh sure, take care of somebody else, WHAT AM I CHOPPED LIVER?!?!" Dawn: OMG NO FUCKING WAY jlsundberg: yes And the girl apologizes to me Dawn: HILARIOUS jlsundberg: and the WTL says "You're not sorry BITCH" Dawn: EWHATY HOLY SHIT jlsundberg: "We'll see how much you laugh when you don't have a job tomorrow FATTY!!" I SWEAR TO GOD Dawn: oh no oh no she didnt jlsundberg: the poor lady inside she did Dawn: WERE THEY CRAZY PILLS???????? jlsundberg: I said, you should make her go somewhere else for her drugs you shouldnt have to listen to that Dawn: seriously jlsundberg: and she said, oh something goes wrong every time she is here Dawn: no way jlsundberg: w/E Dawn: that poor girl something doesnt go wrong jlsundberg: I would have told her to speak to my manager Dawn: she's just an ASSHOLE jlsundberg: and i am sure the manager would have told her to go somewhere else Dawn: i would have dropped the pills all over the floor, accidentally jlsundberg: so then HAHAHAH Dawn: or wiped my ass on them or crapped on them jlsundberg: i got all the way home Dawn: or peed in the bag jlsundberg: and realized that the bitch fatty forgot two scripts!!!!! Dawn: or farted into the microphone jlsundberg: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH Dawn: HAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH you ASSHOLE jlsundberg: i just laughed out loud Dawn: i totally would have, too jlsundberg: would have what? Dawn: can you imagine how cool that would be farted i'd be all like yeah, well listen to this! ::GIANT FART SOUND:: sorry i cant stop now HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!! whew jlsundberg: oh yeah, Ms. LIVER Dawn: i'd make a good liver a fatty liver jlsundberg: fatty lovber? levebear oh for christs sake Dawn: um shore i need to get me a microphone jlsundberg: i cant believe how crazy that woman was she was SCREAMING this stuff Dawn: she had to be on crazy pills people are so horrible jlsundberg: I AM, in fact, chopped liver. jlsundberg: or maybe, like you said Dawn: i wish everybody thought we were as funny as we think we are jlsundberg: she was waiting for her crazy pills Dawn: totally jlsundberg: seriously Dawn: i'll bet it was some kind of um whats that called BI-POLAR thats it bi-polar pills Dawn: HILARIOUS jlsundberg: and no, bipolar is a place not a pill Dawn: oh i dont get it jlsundberg: I think it is near the South Polar or is it the North Polar? Dawn: do you know how many good deals i get on polaroids because ppl are retarded and CANT SPEEL? poloroid jlsundberg: remember Joe used to say his ex went bi-polar Dawn: poarliod polariod no i dont remember that wait oh yes i do jlsundberg: bi-polaroid Dawn: polarnoid!!! jlsundberg: HAHAHAH Dawn: i bought a polarnoid last week! jlsundberg: bi-polarnoid! Dawn: got to be an idiot i like trying to guess which auctions are done by total idiots its fun jlsundberg: Gots me a polarnoid? Dawn: i love idiots jlsundberg: I love when their user ids start with Ms. Dawn: I got two turntables and a fart-grophone oh yeah or as diva in it has or thing jlsundberg: Fart-grophone I just LOL'd again Dawn: HAHAHAH jlsundberg: Ms.DivaThing thats my new name Dawn: NICE jlsundberg: You can call me MZ DIVA THANG! Dawn: I am so amused right now jlsundberg: i am a hot idiot jlsundberg: My friends call me DICK, you can call me MZ DIVA THANG! Dawn: DICK jlsundberg: yes? Dawn: zzzzzzzzz i like da zzzzzzz's jlsundberg: did my joke put you to sleap? Dawn: ayuh jlsundberg: steap Dawn: snorggle jlsundberg: ew you just drooled Dawn: i cant belive you made me buy that camera oh oh its the other cat jlsundberg: i cant believe you drooled ok we really should work we have waasted Dawn: black and white fuzzball alert ok jlsundberg: 30 minutes Dawn: WOW jlsundberg: or more Dawn: thats amwerazing it's almost like when we used to have jobs! JAJAJAJAJJAJAAAA@@@@!!! jlsundberg: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!! because we are so funny Dawn: sorry cat jlsundberg: are you in a better mood? Dawn: jack says hi jlsundberg: or should we still kill somebody later? Dawn: yes thank you no, better jlsundberg: HI JACK HIJACK? Dawn: he just threw himself on th e keyboaurd jlsundberg: What the....? Did he Dawn: he's so cute jlsundberg: HIJACK it?? HAHAHAJAJSJASHADSFKsjdgfkladhgfjkdsgnxc,mvnxzchewo;'rfjsdkljfsdaf <splat> Dawn: he's in my elbowpit ok jlsundberg: did he Dawn: wokr jlsundberg: HIJACK IT????? ASJKDFKadjfglksdjglekftujhproqieutopeitujsrdlkgjdfl Dawn: OMG AWE)RIUAW#M))))))))))fij i can hear you jlsundberg: everything he douise Dawn: making that laughing thing jlsundberg: is going to be a hijacking from now on Dawn: even when he sticks his as son my chest? jlsundberg: LOLOLOLOLOLOOOLEAPRFKADSOFKdsjsadlsadfg;sdfjsad;fla Dawn: ass on jlsundberg: did he HIJACK IT????????? JASJFAOJFAD:Kfjsdklgashityqwrpo8tub3986nu3oitaj so;igh-w49758[p gn lkavjxb[9dfi6m q2g;lj4gvHQI;uprUA ET = Dawn: ass on ass off ass on ass off Dawn: OMG jlsundberg: I THINK THERE MIGHT ACTUALLY BE SOME WORDS IN THERE Dawn: NOOOOOOO! jlsundberg: WHY AM I YELLING? MARILYN SAYS Dawn: cat! jlsundberg: F U C K Dawn: cat cat jlsundberg: EFF YOU SEE KAY i am listening to marilyn through my tv Dawn: aah jlsundberg: probly not a good idea Dawn: intresting jlsundberg: i may blow my tv speakers Dawn: as long as you don't "blow" them (joey quotes) i should play some music jlsundberg: i need to hook up some spear EFF YOU Dawn: you need an ipod I need an ibra jlsundberg: SEE KAY Dawn: dont you have some speakers jlsundberg: spear? Speareks? YES I DO Dawn: DO IT tail jlsundberg: I AM ELECTRONICALLY CHALLENGED HOWEVER Dawn: on keyboard jlsundberg: or is it just laszy Dawn: me too me too jlsundberg: ok GOT TO GHAEKRNAMENRFAsdjdsuisadhgkjsbfm,xcnviuweytr[poiqehrkasd i mean work Dawn: HOLLAH K Calling jlsundberg@gmail.com at 10:32 AM on Thursday jlsundberg: and then i am Dawn: JJJJJJJa3wiu9rm3-f,09iezskm:Ldvkn-w]e00fiuasjodf jlsundberg: AHDFIAdfhsdoifhsdlfkshd;fjsdhfpusdyfosivhlskdfa Call with jlsundberg@gmail.com not answered at 10:32 AM on Thursday Incoming call from jlsundberg@gmail.com at 10:32 AM on Thursday Dawn: whoops sorry jack just tried to call you Call from jlsundberg@gmail.com missed at 10:32 AM on Thursday jlsundberg: tell him to stop Dawn: what is GOING ON jlsundberg: HIJACKING THE POHOINE Dawn: HES CARZY jlsundberg: HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHDF;oadfupiowertulfksdjgnsdlkfhawep;oi bvhspoitvhwanpoiy4q5uv7g5noqairjg;lkdjt-9qg87n5vepao jfviuq345ygp[0*anU ZKLJREHVTRVF;12 CWS Dawn: he's sprawling jlsundberg: OK B Dawn: on my keyspace OK B jlsundberg: BBBBB Dawn: b a l l s jlsundberg: EFF YOU SEE KAY YOU Dawn: i need to pay for my stupid expensive camera jlsundberg: HAFLKDHFLKWDHFJKDSAHFAKJSDHFSDKUFHASDKFHSDALKJHSDKJFHSDKJFHSDKFSD Dawn: JERK jlsundberg: HA HA Dawn: tail jlsundberg: DICK Dawn: hey remember when we used to IM each other and purposely not correct our fat finger-ness? ... ... Yeah. Sent at 10:34 AM on Thursday
Posted on 02/05/2009 9:31 AM Comments (6)
October 25, 2007i dedicate this to abbzy and her nigerian lovAHs.
Posted on 10/25/2007 10:39 AM Comments (24)
December 27, 2006I'm not even sure exactly why...
but I find this very disturbing.
Posted on 12/27/2006 4:51 PM Comments (9)
October 7, 2006Holy crap, I really haven't changed in 30 years...
Posted on 10/07/2006 1:11 AM Comments (7)
May 30, 2006Free Alaa
We take our freedoms for granted here. Bloggers in Egypt are being persecuted. Free Alaa.
Posted on 05/30/2006 8:44 AM Comments (1)
March 18, 2006Hey guys I'm back, AGAIN.This has been one cuh-razy year so far. I've been hospital girl lately, not sure why, but i am getting better now and back on my feets. I've missed you all and I could not get to buzz from my stupid hospital room. did have my own nice flat panel tv, though. that's what i get for hoxpitalizing myself in the burbs. har. i am staying with friend jenny for awhile and will be using her pc and her camera HAHA!! so i will post as much as possible, wait, I will post one picture of me at least, for some reason illness has made me look about 10 years younger, very odd.
Posted on 03/18/2006 7:02 PM Comments (8)
December 3, 2005OK, SO, SINCE I CAN'T SLEEP YETI'll tell y'all the story of "When Jenny had a baby". Well, the beginning anyway, she hasn't as yet completed the process. So, I stop by her house tonight around 7 or so, and we're sitting around talking about this & that and admiring all the work we've done on the baby's room, which we've JUST FINISHED this weekend(what timing), and about an hour after I got to her place, she says to me, hey i have to tell you something gross. I said cool, I love gross, what? She tells me that she thinks she has a bladder infection or that the baby moved and is sitting on her bladder because she's had some "leakage". Keep in mind her due date was the 19th of this month. I said what kind of leakage? She says it is more than a little, and that it keeps happening every time she stands up. I said, uh, don't you think you ought to call the doctor? (Thinking in my head, well that sounds like your water broke, yes?) She says it may be that my water broke, but it wasn't much, I really think I have a bladder infection or something. Get this, SHE WASN'T EVEN GOING TO CALL THE DOCTOR!!! I said, um will you PLEASE call the doctor just in case? She says it's probably nothing and the doctor will probably just tell her to wait a while & see what happens. I insist she call the doctor. She whines some more and finally calls. The doctor tells her to come in to the hospital to get checked out. She gets off the phone and complains to me some more. She says it's not like I even have any contractions! I said you haven't felt anything at all? She says well, I feel a little crampy or something, but no contractions. I am holding my own arm down so that I don't smack myself in the forehead. Really hard. I say ok, let's pack your bag, ok?? GREAT. The whole time we're getting her stuff together she's going on & on about how it's a false alarm and what a waste of time, and all she wanted to do was relax this weekend blah blah blah. I said wouldn't you rather be safe than sorry & have the doctor tell you what's going on, blah blah, more stuff like that. Ok, so I tell her I love her and hug her, & she & Steve finally get in the car and leave. I sit at her house with the dogs and freak out. Then I freak out some more. She calls me about 2 hours later and says, um yeah, we're having a baby. I said WOW. Then I said it again. With OOMPH. With CHUTZPAH. With, oh you get the idea. Then I said, you MORON, you would have gone to sleep & woken up with a baby in the bed with you!! I told her that the way I figure it, her orderly little brain just couldn't adjust. She is the type of person who plans out every minute of every day of her jam-packed life, and we had just finished all the stuff that we needed to do to get ready for the baby to get here(all the really important stuff anyway), and she had planned for 2 weeks of rest & relaxation before the baby came. I'm thinkin' she couldn't get her noodle used to the idea of the baby messing up the schedule. Who DOES that kid think he is, anyway?? har. I called Danielle to tell her about it, and Danielle laughed her fool head off about it. This is so indicative of Jenny's personality, it's just CLASSIC. So, I think I'm tired now, going to try to sleep again, I'll keep you guys posted!!
Posted on 12/03/2005 11:34 PM Comments (2)
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